What it means to speak as a survivor

In recognition of National Crime Victims Rights Week, Appleseed is sharing a series of reflections on grief, trauma, loss, and healing by our Community Navigator, Callie Greer. Callie is a powerful voice for survivors in Alabama. Based on her own experiences losing two children, working through grief, finding forgiveness, and passing on her life’s lessons to others, Callie has been a catalyst for healing. Her wisdom needs to be captured and shared. 

By Callie Greer, Appleseed Community Navigator

My name is Callie Greer. I’m the Community Navigator-Organizer at Alabama Appleseed Center for Law and Justice. In this role, I collaborate with several other organizations on issues affecting people here in Alabama, as well as in many other cities and states, even in other countries. I mostly speak from lived experiences, and I draw from others’ similar experiences. Through those conversations, we often make connections and create relationships where trust, beliefs, barriers, respect, value, and humanity show up, and misunderstandings are sometimes cleared up. This is my attempt to share with you, in this space and time, about the topic of “Crime Victims and Survivors,” as this month is the specific time and space when we give this issue a more focused platform. 

The author, Callie Greer

When I speak as a “survivor,” it’s usually about Mercury Lorell Colley, our son, who died from gun violence in June of 1999 on Father’s Day. Father’s Day is not always celebrated on the same day every year, but for me, ever since that Father’s Day regardless of the date it’s a trigger. I remember. It’s not as traumatizing as it was in the first decade, but I still have my moments. I’m sharing this again today for a different reason. I want to be clear that the space and time that has been set aside for “Crime Victims and Survivors” is for everyone who has experienced violence in their lives. I don’t hesitate to say that I believe that is true for everyone on this planet. Though our experiences differ and the trauma that is lived can be much more severe for some more than others, I think we can all agree that it’s not an experience we want to continue having in our lives. 

For some of us, justice, forgiveness, and the healing process come and we move on. For some of us, the offense is deeper and it’s a longer process. And then for some of us–like myself– the different levels of this process are visited and realized, but because of the loss, we’ll never get past it; it is permanent. Yes, we’ve forgiven. Yes, we’ve received a measure of justice we can live with. Yes, we can and are speaking our truth. But what I truly lost was my son! He will never be on this side with us again. That’s triggering for me and others who have and will live this violence. 

We’ll talk more about triggers, trauma, healing, forgiveness, truth, justice, and healing in my next several blogs. Until then, I want you to sit with a couple of things. What is the most violent experience you have lived through? Have you truly and fully addressed your needs for recovery from it? Or have you just “taken one for the team” and moved on? Are you willing to be vulnerable and share your truth? There is a sacred space with other people who are seeking answers to start, or continue, their healing process. If you are looking for that space, or if you have created that space and want to share it, contact me; I’m not hard to find. 

Until the next blog,

Mama Callie